LESSON 1
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their
way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across
a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as
you are three, I will allow one wish each"
So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I
want to be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries."
Pfufffff. and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want
to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and
cocktails." Pfufffff and he was also gone.
The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the
office afterlunch at 12:55pm."
Moral of the story:
"ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"
LESSON 2
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his
hand, "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and
important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make
this thing work?" "Certainly," said the young executive.
He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the
start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper
disappeared inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy."
Moral of the story:
"NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING"
LESSON 3
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the
way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked,
"What kind of -ese are you?" The Japanese confused, replied,
"Sorry but I don't understand what you mean."
The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"
Again, the Japanese was confused over he question.
The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese
are you ... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc...??? -"
The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese." A while later
the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind of kee
was he. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what
kind of -kee am I ?!"
The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"
Moral of the story:
"NEVER INSULT ANYONE"
LESSON 4
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and
a French,who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the
bottle, a genie appeared.
Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle,
he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each
of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout
what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will
come true." The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool,
jumped and shouted, "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a
pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking
from the pool. Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and
shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was
so contented with his beer pool. The last is the American. He was
running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel.
He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!! -........ .-"
Moral of the story:
"THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS
DO HAPPEN"
LESSON 5
The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was
in-charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:
Brain..... I should be in-charge because I run all body functions.
Blood..... I should be in-charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.
Stomach... I should be in-charge because I process food to the brain.
Legs...... I should be in-charge because I take the brain where it wants to go.
Eyes...... I should be in-charge because I let the brain see where it's going.
Asshole... I should be in-charge because I get rid of your waste.
All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad.
To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and
stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.
Day 1 : Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief
Day 2 : Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly
Day 3 : Legs got cramps and became unstable
Day 4 : Eyes became watery and vision became blurred
Day 5 : Blood became toxic and poisoned the body
Day 6 : The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in-charge.
Moral of the story:
"NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE,
YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN-CHARGE"
