Romance Mathematics
Smart Man + Smart Woman = romance
Smart Man + Dumb Woman = affair
Dumb Man + Smart Woman = marriage
Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = pregnancy

Office Arithmetic
Smart Boss + Smart Employee = profit
Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = production
Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = promotion
Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee = overtime

Nice Boss who is Smart = 5% pay raise
Nice Boss who is Dumb = 20% pay raise
Evil Boss who is Smart = i promise you.....
Evil Boss who is Dumb = QUIT!!

Shopping Math
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she
doesn't need.

General Equations and Statistics
A woman worries about the future until she
gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until
he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more
money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find
such a man.

Happiness
To be happy with a man, you must
understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must
love her a lot and try not to understand
her at all.

Longevity
Married men live longer than single men,
but married men are a lot more willing to
die.

Propensity To Change
A woman marries a man expecting he will
change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that
she won't change, and she does.

Discussion Technique
A woman has the last word in any
argument. Anything a man says after
that is the beginning of a new argument.

How To Stop People From Bugging You
About Getting Married
Old aunts used to come up to me at
weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing
the same thing to them at funerals.


Yup, this is life.